Hell is a Waiting Room…

…and the worst kind of music is played in this waiting room. It’s the waiting room for my shrink. I’m already irritable, because I know my visit with the shrink will be short, and I’ll put on a happy face and tell him all is well, when all I need him to do is approve my meds.

It’s not the meds that have me irritable, it’s having to take them.

And now I’m sitting in his waiting room, and the worst kind of Muzak is playing. Piano-laden version of “Wind Beneath My Wings” or some Dan Fogelberg track. This sonic assault would make me want to slash my throat in the waiting room, but thankfully I’m not suicidal. I’m far too vain for that. But I could have gone the rest of my life without hearing an even softer version of Christopher Cross’ “Sailing.”

I’ll bet he’s a depressed motherfucker. No one could write music that trite and be happy.

I’m amazed no one has tried to smash the speakers. I would be so inclined. Seriously, doctors need to rethink the music they pipe in their waiting rooms. If you’re trying to make me docile, it’s doing the opposite; it’s like poking a grizzly bear until it snaps.

No one needs to feel more depressed than what they already are by having to listen to this crap.


6 thoughts on “Hell is a Waiting Room…

  1. Yes! I have been wanting to write about the depressing music at my psychiatrist and therapist’s office but I always forget half the songs by the time my session is over.

    I guess they know they have repeat customers this way?

    • My therapist’s office always plays Enya, for some reason. That’s because she shares a waiting room with a massage spa.

      I’m just glad it’s not pan flutes or the sounds of whales mating.

  2. I eyebrow ripping lady used to play goofy “spiritual” music. We would go in a tiny room, she would dim the lights (don’t you need to see my bushy brows clearly??), and turn on what white people think is tribal music.

  3. Terrible music, that muzak. Gotta agree, it is horribly depressing. I also have an aversion to contemporary, so called “Christian music”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about Gospel music, which is something else, and I’m not knocking the Christian faith, but I’d rather listen to 24 straight hours of NPR during fund raiser week than ten minutes of Christian music.

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