Guest Post – “I’m Not Buying It” by Jcc Keith

The next blog guest post comes to us from Jcc Keith. Yeah, that’s how she spells her name. Don’t ask. Actually, I did ask. Here’s what she told me:

The Jcc stands for my first name Julie and my middle and maiden names.  When I began my social media platform, the name Julie Keith was already taken by an author, the name J Keith was already taken on many sites and even JC Keith was taken so I ended up with Jcc.  Plus I’m lazy so typing the initials is a lot easier than typing out my name all the time.

There you go. Hard-hitting journalism at its finest. You got questions, America, I give you answers.

Jcc Keith’s guest post, “I’m Not Buying It,” is about her sharing her NaNoWriMo experiences. But it’s more than that. It’s about the some little something she could have done to keep herself motivated during NaNoWriMo, but didn’t. It’s a harrowing tale of loss of control and the regaining of control. “I’m Not Buying It” will inspire every writer that reads this. And make us hungry.

A little bit about Jcc Keith, from her bio:

JccKeith currently lives in smalltown Indiana with her husband of 13 years, son and two daughters. A lifelong animal lover her home also boasts a shih tzu, a cat, three rats, a hamster and two chameleons. Growing up in a book loving family, Julie has been surrounded by books her entire life and enjoyed reading from an early age. Writing stories since elementary school she loved to write but also enjoyed the sciences. Graduating from the University of Louisville with a Bachelor of Science in Chemistry with a concentration in Biochemistry she went on to work in the Genetic Counseling Center at Suburban Hospital followed by employment in a laboratory. Painting and writing in her spare time, she also sold her paintings on eBay. Leaving her job to return to being a full time stay at home mom has allowed her to return to her true passions of writing, painting and spending time with her family. Julie enjoys writing science fiction, fantasy stories and humorous fiction. Her favorite activity is to watch sci-fi television shows, particularly Stargate SG1, Stargate Atlantis and FarScape, while writing. For more information, check out her webpage Rogue Mission.

And now…”I’m Not Buying It.”

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Be forewarned, this post is not the stuff of literary genius and will most likely not offer any helpful insights into understanding life and the universe.  On the cusp of finishing NaNoWriMo a day early, I am giddy with excitement.  I am seriously going to have my winner’s certificate framed and hang it right next to my Bachelor of Science degree from the University of Louisville.  It didn’t cost as much as my degree from UofL but it was maybe more difficult.

You see, in pursuing your college degree, you have the option of planning your courses and making things fit to your schedule, for the most part. The classes, especially the 201 courses and general education requirements are a total breeze.  Even the tough classes, you still have the option of studying when you want to or when it’s convenient.  NaNoWriMo is not so obligatory.  You either write the 50,000 words or you don’t.  There aren’t any extensions, no excuses, just the goal and it is immovable.  It requires a daily effort to reach a daily goal.  Maybe it’s just me, but it was quite the challenge.  And I completed it.  Yay for me!

Anyway, I am quite certain you are not as thrilled as I am about my accomplishment.  Why would you be?  You have no stake in the matter, you weren’t betting on my winning or losing.  Whether I finished the challenge or not, the sun was still going to rise in the east and set in the west just like nothing happened.  Your life was going to go on as it usually does.

So let’s talk about something that matters to you.  Let’s talk about something that matters to everyone.  Snickers.

That’s right, Snickers.  Come on, you know you like ‘em.  They’re just so good.  I don’t even care for chocolate really but I do like Snickers.  The ones I like best are the little bitty square snickers they have around at holidays.  I’m also partial to the snack size snickers they have at Halloween.

This brings me to my dilemma.  I was getting ready to check out and there directly behind the line to get to the cash register was the bin of Christmas candy. They had the peppermint candy canes and the cookies to which I easily passed.  But then I saw the bright shiny red and silver wrappers of the bite size snickers.

They were only $2.99 for the bag of let’s say fifteen or so little square snickers.  I thought to myself, hmm…  $3 isn’t so much.  I could do $3 and I could definitely use the sugar high eating those snickers would give me.  At that point, I hadn’t finished my novel for NaNoWriMo yet and was in front of what could possibly turn out to be a late night.

Then I had the time to contemplate the wide scope of the situation.  I thought, you know if I buy that bag of snickers, I’d probably eat the entire bag tonight.  Then I’d want another bag or at the very least more sugary sweetness of whatever candy hadn’t been eaten from Halloween.  There are plenty of Twix and Tootsie Rolls around the house.

The problem is, all that sugary bliss would result in an expanded waistline.  I’d then have to venture on up to the mall and buy new shirts to cover up my increasing belly.  Even if I bought only one shirt or sweat shirt, I’m looking at around $20 to $30 and that is at the cheaper department stores.  But then I’d have to make my way over to The Buckle and buy a new pair of jeans to accommodate my widening hips.  For the jeans that I like, the ones that fit perfectly, I’d be spending $129 to $169.  Even if I compromised my taste for the jeans from the Buckle and went with a pair from Old Navy, I’d still be spending $30 to $40.

Once I was comfortably clothed, I would continue to feed my newly acquired sweet tooth.  This would undoubtedly lead to a rotten tooth at some point.  Given my usual avoidance of addressing such concerns until they become excruciatingly painful, I would ignore this tooth for as long as possible.  Ignoring my aching tooth would eventually lead to my needing a root canal to save my now rotten tooth.  This would, after my dental insurance pitched in their part, cost me around $1500.

The pain killers the dentist office would give me to deal with the pain from the root canal would probably lead to an addiction.  I would then be spending $2 per pill to obtain my prescription drug of choice.  This would probably amount to a $100 or more per month.

Then of course would come the inevitable downward spiral from pain killers to harder drugs.  I’d be spending $1000’s per week to fulfill my needs.  I would lose my house, probably my marriage, my kids, my pets and most likely end up homeless on the streets.

What a wasted life that would be.  I’d have no computer or internet access to share my thoughts with all of you readers.  And you see, that’s who I was thinking about this afternoon when I considered buying those snickers.  I was putting the needs of you readers first.  I just couldn’t risk it.

Snickers are a gateway candy.  Don’t fall into their trap.  Don’t buy in to the madness.

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8 thoughts on “Guest Post – “I’m Not Buying It” by Jcc Keith

  1. Ooooh the picture of the teeth should be enough to say “I”m Not buying It.” Wish I had read this before I bought the red licorice. Creative post. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks Gus and Jcc.

  2. Okay, I’m not buyin’ in! And I’m not sure I’ll be visiting small town Indiana any time soon, either. Too dangerous!

    One way to kick some NaNoWriMo ass is to include a complete geneology for every character. Really eats up the word count, plus makes for some very poetic, almost edgy formatting!

    • Another way is to liberally abuse the use of adverbs in your manuscript. Amazing how adverbs can really eat up word counts!

      Hey, no one ever said a NaNo manuscript was ever worth a shit.

  3. You almost lost me at not liking chocolate all that much, and the picture of the rotting mouth should be banned, but I love the way your mind worked out the spiral from one bag of mini-Snickers to homelessness!

  4. Pingback: My Guest Post on Out Where The Buses Don’t Run | Jcckeith

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