Guest Post: “Things That Make Pregnant Women Cry,” by Gemma Amor

The next guest blog post comes courtest of Gemma Amor, who hails from the UK. She runs two blogs; one, the very funny pregnancy blog Nine Month Bun (no explanation necessary), as well as her business blog, MarketingAmor, in which she, in her words, dispenses “bite-sized marketing advice for businesses.” Gemma’s due to give birth to her first child any day now, so right now’s a good time to feature her latest blog, Things That Make Pregnant Women Cry, as today’s guest post here at OWTBDR.

I can’t help but think of what Gemma is experience and what my wife experienced nearly six years ago with our child. She’s handling her pregnancy the same way my wife did, with equal parts humor and complete aggravation. Trust me, Gemma, it gets better. OH, IT GETS SOOOO MUCH BETTER. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…okay i’ll stop.

Gemma’s bio is as follows: ‘Gemma Amor has been writing for most of her life. She is currently the proud author of eleven unfinished novels, and has set herself the seemingly insurmountable task of actually completing one before the birth of her first child. When not wrestling with manuscripts she is a Marketer who also likes to blog about pregnancy.’

So, without further ado, here’s Gemma Amor’s guest post, Things That Makes Pregnant Woman Cry

___________________________________________________________________

woman_crying_mThis post is in honour of the genius http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/, a whole tumblr site dedicated to all the many inconsequential reasons
children cry, and cry, and cry.

I’ve often thought there should be an equivalent site for pregnant women, especially those in the final weeks of countdown when the world becomes
a very frustrating place.

So here are some of the reasons this pregnant woman has been crying this last few days. I did think about illustrating this post with images,
but just couldn’t summon the energy to retreive the necessary usb cable:

Reasons I have been Crying

– All of my food, no matter how carefully chopped, speared and balanced, ends up on my belly.

– I can no longer remember what it looks like between my legs.

– My boobs get trapped beneath my armpits when lying in the bath reading a book.

– I haven’t worn any nice underwear since my honeymoon.

– The Pedigree Chum advert on the telly

– The cups and mugs won’t all fit in the cupboard

– I can no longer sleep due to cramp, hip pain, bad dreams and needing to wee every few hours.

– I am suddenly convinced I am going to be a terrible mother

– I can’t see the pot that the midwives want me to wee in and invariably miss

– I have an extra chin

– It’s sunny outside

– It’s not sunny outside

– My nails look terrible but I cannot be bothered to do anything about it

– I am never going to finish writing my novel

– I can’t go clubbing (I never liked clubbing)

– I can’t wear high heels (I rarely ever wore high heels)

– Suspenders and corsets are an impossibility (No comment)

– I burnt the toast

– I’m cross with myself for crying (again)

– I miss cycling (I gave my bike away years ago)

– I’m worried the baby won’t like Star Wars as much as we do

– I burnt the pasta

– I want a runny egg

– I want a mohito.

– I want to meet my baby.

Sales in bog roll have risen dramatically in my neighborhood.

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3 thoughts on “Guest Post: “Things That Make Pregnant Women Cry,” by Gemma Amor

  1. I’ve never been pregnant and have no regrets about it after reading this! ha ha! But I would offer a hug. And best wishes on the pending birth of your baby. 🙂 (this was funny and I enjoyed it)

  2. Oh my goodness. I love it. I’m pregnant with my second child and I though this time I wouldn’t be as emotional. WRONG! I’m WAY more emotional than I was with my first, so this hits home.

    Good luck with your birth! I hope it’s a smooth one! Thanks Gus for posting this. I’m quite amused now 🙂

  3. Hi, Gus and Gemma. So happy to read this today–hilarious! it’s been eons since I’ve been pregnant, but I can remember some of these issues. Yes, we will always remember the tears. Best of luck and congratulations!

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